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Female Divorce Lawyer on Dealing With Cheating Spouses

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Female divorce lawyer on dealing with cheating spouses - including one who bedded a prostitute | Daily Mail Online

A top female lawyer has spilled the beans on dealing with ‘exhausted wives’ and cheating spouses at her practice – including one who bedded a prostitute then used a home-equity loan to buy her a house.

Heather Hostetter, of Bethesda, Maryland, is a partner at Hostetter Strent LLC and specialises in domestic relations law – from divorce and property distribution to custody and child support. 

But while she frequently deals with cheats and philanderers, Heather insisted these people are still human and require her understanding and ‘a good plan’ rather than her judgement. 

She also revealed one of the most common reasons successful career-driven women seek a divorce from their husbands.  

Heather Hostetter, of Bethesda, Maryland, is a partner at Hostetter Strent LLC and specialises in domestic relations law – from divorce and property distribution to custody and child support

Speaking to Washingtonian about dealing with couples where a spouse has been unfaithful, Heather said though they have behaved unacceptably, they are still a human being.

She added: ‘Nevertheless, there are still times when I think, “Wow! You cheated with a prostitute and used a home-equity line to buy the prostitute a house? How did you think it would work out?”‘

Heather also told how many ‘breadwinning’ wives who visit her $550-an-hour practice are looking to leave their ‘failure-to-launch’ husbands. 

She said she sees a lot of professional women who got married in their late twenties to someone ‘adorable with tons of promise’.

But as they continued to climb in her career, while starting a family at the same time, it becomes increasingly apparent that the husband ‘isn’t going anywhere’.

Heather said she sees a lot of professional women who got married in their late twenties to someone ‘adorable with tons of promise’ who ends up not going anywhere. Pictured: stock image

Heather explained that their lack of drive is not usually obvious at first, though often they’re a ‘consultant’ with a business card but no real money. Meanwhile the wife is the breadwinner and the ‘family manager’. 

‘She communicated with the nanny and scheduled activities all while on an elevator for an important meeting, and she knows where all the undies are,’ Heather explained.

After 20 years of marriage, Heather said the wife is left feeling exhausted and like she has three children instead of two because she’s taking care of her husband.

Heather is then the one to deal the devastating blow to her client that she’ll be giving her husband half of her retirement and assets, as well as alimony – financial support after the split.

Heather always recommends people in an unhappy marriage leave while there’s ‘still an ounce of kindness’ for their spouse. Pictured: stock image

‘People think, “Why shouldn’t women pay? Men have,”‘ Heather pointed out. ‘I agree. The difference is men received services—the family manager. These women, however, are like, “I didn’t get a wife!”‘

However, Heather observed, the court does not give you a ‘redo’ on your choices – and ultimately the fault lies in the wife for not telling her husband to get a job 13 years ago.

As a result, Heather always recommends people in an unhappy marriage leave while there’s ‘still an ounce of kindness’ for their spouse.

Read the full interview with Heather in the October 2019 issue of Washingtonian.

What is the divorce rate in the UK? 

According to the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics, released in 2018, the divorce rate for heterosexual couples in the UK was at a 45-year low – with 101,669 in England and Wales.

There were 8.4 divorces of oppposite-sex couples per 1,000 married men and women in 2017 – representing the lowest rates since 1972 and a 5.6 per cent decrease since 2016.

But experts suggested this could be down to the fact that fewer couples are choosing to get married.

The divorce rate was highest for men aged 45-49 and women aged 40-44, which Relate relationship counsellor Gurpreet Singh suggested could be down to couples reaching the stage in their life when ‘all the distractions have finished’.

According to the ONS figures, unreasonable behaviour was cited as the most common reason for both heterosexual and same-sex divorce.

Around 52 per cent of wives and 37 per cent of husbands petitioned on these grounds in opposite-sex marriages, while for same-sex couples the figures stand at 83 per cent for women and 73 per cent among men.

Female divorce lawyer on dealing with cheating spouses – including one who bedded a prostitute

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